The Search for Common Ground

The hallways of our schools have always been cherished as places of learning, growth, and acceptance. They hum with familiar rhythms: the slam of lockers, the muffled chatter of exhausted students ready to go home, the distant monotonous bell signaling the shift to the next class of the day. But underneath the surface of what are seemingly common routines, a different tension, being pumped into schools exists. It’s in a tension that centers, in part, around something as seemingly mundane as a restroom door, and the complexities it represents for a select number of students. As our times become more modern, and political issues divulge into the sweet purities of our schools, the issue of transgender bathroom access, coupled with increasing discussions about when and how we introduce topics related to LGBTQ+ identities in the classroom, has ignited passionate debates, dividing communities and raising complex questions about identity, safety, and belonging.

At its roots, both of these debates go beyond just facilities or our basic curriculum. They cut through the skin, bleeding ideals cherished in schools such as identity, safety, and belonging. For transgender students, being able to use a bathroom that aligns with their gender identity is a fundamental issue of recognition and respect, and as the vast influence of social media erupts, there is more influence on the youth and their perception of their gender; opening these bathrooms is about affirming their authentic selves, and and allowing them to feel safe and comfortable, as if there’s a warm hand cupping around them, replicating a comforting school environment. Imagine the daily stress and utter confusion upon being told you can’t use a bathroom that corresponds with who you think you are. It’s a constant reminder that your identity, that you, are being questioned and invalidated. However, the argument sees nuance in the fact that some raise concerns about the privacy and safety of other students, particularly, cisgender girls. Often rooted in anxieties about potential misuse or predatory behavior, these fears have validity in the eyes of parents, who send their children to these schools with the hopes their children will come home, safe and untouched every day. However, studies and real-world experience from schools across the country with inclusive bathroom policies have repeatedly shown that these fears are somewhat unfounded- keeping some exceptions, and the conversation about transgender athletes aside- with little evidence to suggest that allowing trans students to use the bathroom that aligns with their gender identity leads to an increase in safety incidents across various ages. Adding another layer of complexity is the conversation around LGBTQ+ education in younger grades. States such as California have taken steps to include discussions of LGBTQ+ history and identities in elementary school curricula. While seemingly inclusive and progressive for many, these actions arguably promote understanding and prevent bullying from fostering acceptance from a young age. However, are these questions developmentally appropriate for young children? Should 8 year old children really be exposed to information about how they may possibly not be the people they think they are… should we really leave them confused and overwhelmed while they’re still only developing their own sense of self? As one path leads to others, these questions in turn raise one more crucial question: is being progressive so early always a good idea? While the intention behind early LGBTQ+ education is undoubtedly positive, and also socially inclusive in creating a more accepting environment of all students, it is important to consider the potential impact this can have on young developing children. While good intentions are always at our forefront, it is possible to argue that we are not actually providing them with the necessary social context and support to understand such complex issues- issues that teenagers and even adults still struggle to completely understand. In an argument so delicate and nuanced such as this, what is often missing is the human element. We forget the raw vulnerability associated with identity, with a person’s sense of self. Getting caught up in legal arguments and political intervention, we tend to forget that these are real students, real lives that can be both subtly and dramatically impacted by the smallest vials of information. We are talking about young students who are already navigating the complexities of adolescence, now facing additional challenges and discrimination for being who they are, or who they think they are. In 2024, Governor Gavin Newsom of California signed into action a law that bans "school rules requiring parents notification of child's pronoun change" (NPR). Is it really the government's job to take away that safe space and that parents painstakingly work to foster in their homes, to snatch away their rights to have open conversations with their children about increasingly sensitive and personal topics? In the end, instead of focusing on hypothetical risks or abstract concepts involved with philosophical and deeply personal topics, perhaps it would do us good to focus on the real harm that can come from denying transgender students basic respect, or from introducing complex topics without adequate support and context for younger, still developing students. Studies have shown that transgender students who are not supported and affirmed are at significantly higher risk for mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and even suicide. Similarly, poorly implemented or insensitive education on any complex topic can lead to confusion and anxiety in young children. These aren't simple issues with answers as simple as A, B, or C. They all require empathy, understanding, and a willingness to look beyond our own perspectives and they all require us to ask ourselves provoking questions: How do we create school environments where all students feel safe and respected? How do we balance the needs of all students while upholding the rights of transgender individuals? How do we ensure that education on sensitive topics is delivered in a developmentally appropriate and supportive manner? And most importantly, are we willing to listen to the voices of transgender students, educators, and parents alike? These debates aren't just about a bathroom and who is allowed to use it, or curricula that is constantly being modified as times change; they’re about creating a more inclusive society for all and they’re about recognizing the humanity in each other, even when so many different viewpoints are present, because ultimately, we are all just human. We all deserve to feel safe, respected, and valued, regardless of our gender identity or stage of development- we are all just human and that is always what it comes down to. Are we willing to create a world where that is possible, and are we approaching this goal in a way that truly benefits- in a way that truly searches to meet on common grounds?