Cats are Unpredictable (Part 2)

Okay, people, so this is Adrian here...a cat... or to be more specific, THE CAT starring in my owner's (Alexa's) version of a particular story which I will go into right now. To get to the point, Alexa got some things wrong and so I will clear it out and tell you the right version. So, I want to first clear up the fact that I was not as fat as my owner exclaimed and she didn't gasp out and stammer, "OH MY GOSH." It was more like a gasp with a stare that she couldn't interrupt until one of her friends said something to break her gaze at my glorious-ness (I don't understand why, but my owner is rolling her eyes at me right now... maybe it's because of something weird she did or she got something in her eyes... because last time I checked, humans couldn't understand cats 🙄).

Image courtesy- Pixabay
("glorious-ness" -Adrian)

So you might not believe me but whatever... why I escaped from home is the big deal... the final run to win the game... and the final goal with the ball... and, I think you get the point. So yes, she covered some minor details- when I was little, she saved me from dying, raised me, and gave me the nourishment of a mother cat. She lives a fine life and did back then too because her daddy is super-rich and so I got my own kitty room (pun not intended), the best food, and everything. But for a cat like me, I thought (and mind you, still think) that I am more important than doing boring stuff at home all day and being talked to with that slurred sort of voice and baby words that humans use to talk to their pets... it's quite weird.

I escaped so that I could experience some adventure of my own and so that I could get away from all the baby-talk and the indoor environment that my owner provided me with. I hadn't intended to be gone that ("that" meaning 1 month) long but some things happened during my time away from home. My intentions, in the beginning, were to spend only three days out to see the real world (that sounds like what a fictional character would say, doesn't it?) and then return home to the comfort and care that awaited me. But then I got caught by animal control for a month. Of course, I tried to resist at first and even gave the humans bites and bloody gashes. It probably sent them to the hospital but whatever! I was trying to fight my way to freedom. 

Once I was in a cage of my own at the shelter, there were many other cats with me. It was like a big room where everyone got their own cage. I got accustomed to the term "customer" after a few days at the shelter, but apparently, people would come and adopt me if they wanted to give me a home (which I had already). My owner was supposed to get me chipped but then decided against it... anyways, there were families who did try to adopt me starting with the Jacobsen's (a family of one daughter and parents) whom I hissed at and pretended to scratch violently at so that they would be frightened away. I tried that with two other families who were also interested in my glorious-ness and to my surprise, it worked. Except with the last family, the Everleigh's, I accidentally might have scratched the dad while he was talking to me in that baby-language sort of way which I mentioned earlier. I'm pretty sure he was able to interpret my meaning loud and clear. 

Image courtesy- Pixabay

Other than doing that all that hard work, I became, well... horizontally challenged after eating at the shelter. I don't know where the whole food-disappearing-every-night business came from according to my owner but it might have been that she wasn't thinking straight or something like that. It was probably a little bit of post-traumatic stress from experiencing the experience of me leaving home and not returning (but who am I to make the diagnosis?). When I went to my kitty room to relax after the troubling month, I found SOOO much food waiting for me that it would've taken me a month's worth of eating to finish all the food, but again, who knows what she saw during her troubled state of mind. 

Image courtesy- Pixabay

Anyways, I think I got sidetracked but let's get back to my tale. I did notice how the other cats didn't complain as much I did and I wonder why... I came to the resolution after thinking for 5 days that it might've been that they hadn't lived in a rich sort of environment that I lived in and how they might not have ever had a home. Only then did I realize how privileged I was... but, then I also thought and still think that I deserve it so... that's that.  

Then one day when I was taking a nap in the corner of my big confinement, I recognized a voice... Alexa's friend- Lizzie's voice to be exact. Apparently, she wanted to get a new cat to comfort Alexa and she adopted me because I thought that she was going to take me back to Alexa... Lizzie bought me a new collar... and I forgot to mention what happened to my color now that I think about it. Well, I sort of... maybe by accident... totally not on purpose ripped it to shreds and I am definitely telling you the truth about it being an accident.

Anyways, Lizzie put me in the car after she filled out all the adoption forms and did whatever she had too, and then she put me in her car and we drove to Alexa's home. On the way there, she kept giggling and picking up her phone when it made a "ding!" sound. I still wonder what tempted her to pick it up while she was driving. Soon we reached the gate of my heaven (aka- my home) and Lizzie met up with some of Alexa's other friends. They were surprised to see me because their eyes got all wide and then, they put me in a box. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? I tried to hiss and move in the box... and I had a very good reason. My glorious-ness was thrown into a box! SHOW RESPECT TO THE CATS, don't you think?

After Lizzie rang the doorbell like a crazy person, the rest is history (mostly because I'm lazy, I'm scheduled for a cat-spa in five minutes and, I don't want to explain it and because Alexa finished the story off quite well [except for the end... I wasn't that fat])

So that's the real story... what my owner told you must've surprised you at first but she mainly told the story from her point of view which means that you didn't know my intentions... but now you do 😉! And one last thing: if any of you were wondering and didn't know already, I am a male cat and again I tell you... I wasn't that fat.

Image courtesy- Pixabay
"I was not that fat..." -Adrian